Monday, December 15, 2008


I have a love/hate relationship with massages. I just got my third full massage of my life today. I get so nervous that it is not relaxing. I think to myself..."Are my feet too dry? Did I shave my legs well enough? Does the masseuse think I am fat?" All these ridiculous questions! My first real massage was in Vietnam with my boyfriend. Before the massage, I ran into a fat, hairy, naked Russian man and saw everything. Little Vietnamese men were running around everywhere. I was so nervous. I was Prudishly covering myself with a little towel. In many counties, massage parlours are fronts for other things and at the very least you get the "full meal deal" when you get a massage. (If you catch my drift) The whole time that I was getting a massage, I kept thinking about what they may be doing to my boyfriend. He got the cute girl, and I got the not-so-cute girl. She actually stood on me! It felt amazing. She must have been about 90 pounds, but I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head. To make matters worse, the Russian guy in the next room kept grunting and moaning. I, of course, kept imagining he was getting a "full meal deal"! It was horrible. They have windows where you can see in each room, I looked in my boyfriends room and nothing wrong was happening, but now it didn't matter. My massage was over and I left more stressed out then I came!

My massage today was pretty wonderful. One whole hour of bliss. In my daily life, I hold grudges and I have a lot on my mind. With each kneed and push I tried to let these grudges go. After all, they are not thinking about me, why should I give them my precious thoughts? I wish one massage would make my grudges go away. I have so much trouble letting things go. Any advice?

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